Blow Up

She’s like the wind

And, yeah, you’re like the sun

Oh I love how cliché these moments have become

Shine on

Bright on

“turn the light on,” you say

You can’t see in the dark and you can’t stand not seeing me

Feel me out, feel me up

Love me tender, love me rough

Make me shiver

Make me shake

Make me moan, give me quakes

Arching my back

Fingers in my hair

Lips on my collarbone

Tongue everywhere

Open your eyes, this isn’t a dream

Let me see those beautiful greens

Monsters

My pillows still smell like you
Even when you’re not here
Which makes me wonder if you’ve
Been sneaking back in
To watch me sleep
Like you used to
When I was still scared of the dark
But you battled all the monsters
And I fell asleep with you next to me
And woke up cold and alone

I’ll miss it
And you’ll wish it
Were someone else
Someone more capable
But you know there’s no one else like me
Because you’ve looked
And I’m still here
Teach me

Because you’re sexy when you talk
And when you walk
And when you’re nervous as I touch you
Even your goosebumps are adorable
As they crawl up your sweet skin
When I trace my fingers along your bones

And I wish you could see the way you look
When I’m taking off your clothes
With my teeth
And how your body twists around mine
When you’re taking off all my inhibitions
With just your lips and your quick tongue
But the sexiest thing about you
Is the way your hair falls on your shoulders
And curls around my fingers

I wish you’d stop talking to me like that
When I’m trying to get your attention
Like you know me
Like you’ve got me all figured out
Like I’m a picture book
you memorized from your childhood
Because you don’t know me

Because if you did then you wouldn’t do
What you do
You’d stop tearing out my heart of stone
You’d stop making me eat my cold words
Because that’s all I do when I’m around you
I have to watch what I say
But all I want to do is look at you
When you dance
And when you cry
And when you laugh
And when you leave
I could watch you leave me forever

Stay and know me a little more
You’ve seen every crevice of my body
And you haven’t seen anything yet
I have so much to show
So open your eyes
And let me take you on the ride of your life

I hate it when you don’t answer me
After I tell you to stay the night and then some
You’d day “I’ll stay forever”
But you never show up on time
And you never answer the phone when I call

You show up unexpected and only sometimes wanted
Why should I let you in again?
I say “You don’t hurt me anymore”
But that’s because I love to hear you say that you do
Don’t sing to me,
It hurts to hear my heart poured out in song.

Four Letter Word

I remember the first time I heard it as a child. I remember the reverence in my father’s voice. He used it only once in all of my memories. And I remember, vividly, the man he used it on. The pride in my dad’s eyes. The smile. I’ll never forget that smile. It was one I had never seen before. Meant for a special purpose. Meant for a special person.
I spent the rest of my life trying to earn that smile from him…

I remember the first time I heard it used on the battlefield. It was just a whisper. He was shouting it at me, but I only heard it as a whisper. I had just temporarily lost my hearing so everything he was shouting at me came to my ears as a whisper. Hearing it made me feel sick. Disgusted. As he sat beside me, laughing about the circumstances, I tried not to vomit. He was envious, I could tell. And that made me all the sicker.


It took me many, many years to figure out that my father didn’t think the soldier was a hero. Not the solider, but the father. My dad didn’t care that the man went to war. My dad cared that he put his children first. That he sacrificed everything for the good of his family. My dad was proud of another man’s parenting abilities. And, looking back, I realize I never stood a chance at being a hero in my dad's eyes. Because what example did I have of being a good dad?

It's raining stars

It’s raining stars
Like the ones on her face
And the ones dancing in her eyes
It’s raining stars
Like the one burning bright millions of miles away
And the ones shooting across the skies

It’s raining stars
Big like the sun
And beautiful like the Milky Way
It’s raining stars
Glowing and radiant
Lighting up my day

It’s raining stars
Explosions of outer-space in the front office
And fires of the sun outside my window
It’s raining stars
Stunning it may seem
But striking me from within

It’s raining stars
A perfect chance to tell you how I feel
No better time, no instance more romantic
It’s raining stars
It’s the end of the world as we know it
And I love you among the chaotic and the frantic

It’s raining stars
I hope to remember this when dead
Because death comes swiftly with these lights
It’s raining stars
I hope to remember you and this moment when dead
Because death comes swiftly with these trivial fights

It’s raining stars
I’ve messed up my words again
And you’re angry with me on Judgment Day
It’s raining stars
We’ve got such limited time
And I don’t want to waste it trying to find something right to say

It’s raining stars
You’re still by my side
Because Armageddon couldn’t pause this love
It’s raining stars
We’re still together
Because we both asked for forgiveness from above

It’s raining stars
No one’s left
We’ve all be sentenced to eternity wherever
It’s raining stars
Or has it stopped?
Because no one’s left, wherever

What It Feels Like To Be Wrong

I wonder if you regret it, but I don’t think you do.
I wonder how it felt. I wonder if I would have done the same.

I wonder if you appreciate beauty, you knew so much about it.
I wonder if you like the lights off. I wonder if you’re scared of the dark.

I wonder if, when you inhale, you smell sulfur. I wonder if you breath at all.
I wonder what you look like, but decide I don’t care.

I wonder how little courage you must have, to sneak and prowl in lies and arrogance.
I wonder why you don’t face me when I call you out. I won’t admit that I’m glad you don’t.

I wonder what you eat, though I already know what you hunger for.
I wonder if you sleep. I wonder if you need to.

I wonder how you feel about your name change.
Mostly, though, I wonder what it feels like to be wrong.
That wrong.





















Silly Lucifer, sinning is for humans.

I Forgot To Call...Again

(the five stages of grief)

“Pick up the phone, pick up the phone”
you chant under your breath
my cell’s not even ringing yet
and your worrying yourself to death

Calm down, pace yourself, I’m still inhaling
I haven’t pulled the trigger yet so don’t pull it for me
I spewed a few words, dropped a few phrases
Your misinterpretations aren’t helping
And now you roll through the phases

Step 1 - Denial
You deny I’m a killer - suicidal better yet
You deny you’re a killer - shoving the gun from my temple and (accidentally) knocking me down the stairs; crack - a broken neck, a shattered heart
You deny that we’re waiting here outside heaven’s gates
You deny we won’t see much of each other for the rest of eternity
You deny you’re the reason why all this happened

Step 2 - Anger
Yeah, I remember your fiery temper
It won’t help you where you’re going
It wouldn’t help you where I’m going, either
But nevertheless I will never forget it
-sheesh-
You knew how to yell
And scream
And throw…punches

Step 3 - Bargaining
Why would you switch with me?
It doesn’t make a difference.
We’d still be apart.
And that’s the only thing you’d change.
No matter where we are, as long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter, right?
Anything to keep us together.
Because we’re obviously so strong.
Stick like glue, right?
In Case You Hadn’t Noticed; we’re done for.

Step 4 - Depression
I still can’t believe you.
You’re getting depressed for all the wrong reasons.
No cure for a broken heart
When you can’t love anymore
All you can do it sit and ponder
Stand and ponder
Walk
Talk
Breathe
Freeze
Burn
and ponder
Wake up, it’s morning.

Step 5 - Acceptance
Morning time is beautiful when you can see it.
Can you see from where you are?
Do you experience it at all anymore?
I’d like to think I do,
but I can never be sure.

Audley Enuf

He stoked the fire when we tried to put it out. He started the fire when we were already burning. Audley Enuf is an average-looking fellow with below-average IQ points. We love him, regardless, of course, because, after all, he does have the best of intentions. He means us no real harm; but most of the time that’s what happens anyways.
It’s sad, really, that he doesn’t seem to understand the concept of pain - in spite of the amount of pain we inflict on him to try to make him understand. He just doesn’t grasp it. Like the time he pushed ol’ Mrs. Grainer down a flight of stairs; she broke her hip (among other things) but couldn’t ask for damages from a handicapped boke, could she? So we tried to help him recognize what he has done wrong (and put Mrs. Grainer at ease) by causing him an equal amount of pain.
Needless to say it didn’t work. I mean, you can tell by the state our town is in that we should have pushed a little harder. We were just too soft, that’s all; and now it’s too late. Well, I suppose in the end the lesson learned here is that you really shouldn’t physically abuse a retarded person - they don’t appreciate it. And they tend to rebel and cause mass chaos and injury to you and your townsfolk. So don’t try it, huh? Getting the town to fund it was more trouble than it was worth, anyways…