What It Feels Like To Be Wrong

I wonder if you regret it, but I don’t think you do.
I wonder how it felt. I wonder if I would have done the same.

I wonder if you appreciate beauty, you knew so much about it.
I wonder if you like the lights off. I wonder if you’re scared of the dark.

I wonder if, when you inhale, you smell sulfur. I wonder if you breath at all.
I wonder what you look like, but decide I don’t care.

I wonder how little courage you must have, to sneak and prowl in lies and arrogance.
I wonder why you don’t face me when I call you out. I won’t admit that I’m glad you don’t.

I wonder what you eat, though I already know what you hunger for.
I wonder if you sleep. I wonder if you need to.

I wonder how you feel about your name change.
Mostly, though, I wonder what it feels like to be wrong.
That wrong.





















Silly Lucifer, sinning is for humans.

I Forgot To Call...Again

(the five stages of grief)

“Pick up the phone, pick up the phone”
you chant under your breath
my cell’s not even ringing yet
and your worrying yourself to death

Calm down, pace yourself, I’m still inhaling
I haven’t pulled the trigger yet so don’t pull it for me
I spewed a few words, dropped a few phrases
Your misinterpretations aren’t helping
And now you roll through the phases

Step 1 - Denial
You deny I’m a killer - suicidal better yet
You deny you’re a killer - shoving the gun from my temple and (accidentally) knocking me down the stairs; crack - a broken neck, a shattered heart
You deny that we’re waiting here outside heaven’s gates
You deny we won’t see much of each other for the rest of eternity
You deny you’re the reason why all this happened

Step 2 - Anger
Yeah, I remember your fiery temper
It won’t help you where you’re going
It wouldn’t help you where I’m going, either
But nevertheless I will never forget it
-sheesh-
You knew how to yell
And scream
And throw…punches

Step 3 - Bargaining
Why would you switch with me?
It doesn’t make a difference.
We’d still be apart.
And that’s the only thing you’d change.
No matter where we are, as long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter, right?
Anything to keep us together.
Because we’re obviously so strong.
Stick like glue, right?
In Case You Hadn’t Noticed; we’re done for.

Step 4 - Depression
I still can’t believe you.
You’re getting depressed for all the wrong reasons.
No cure for a broken heart
When you can’t love anymore
All you can do it sit and ponder
Stand and ponder
Walk
Talk
Breathe
Freeze
Burn
and ponder
Wake up, it’s morning.

Step 5 - Acceptance
Morning time is beautiful when you can see it.
Can you see from where you are?
Do you experience it at all anymore?
I’d like to think I do,
but I can never be sure.